ConservativeChristianRepublican-Report - 20090709

Motivational-Inspirational-Historical-Educational-Political-Enjoyable



"Daily Motivations"

One of the best ways to ensure that values "happen" is to treat them like work rules. -- David Cottrell



Interpersonal Conflicts … When There’s No Time for Planning

It’s bound to happen. Sooner or later you’ll be caught off guard – finding yourself smack dab in the middle of an unexpected conflict with someone on your team. You’re in it before you know it, and there’s no time for formulating a well-thought-out resolution strategy. You’ve got to respond in some way, and you have to do it NOW! What do you do? How can you keep the situation from escalating and ending up some-where you DON’T want to be? Here are a few suggestions:

Stop, breath, and think. Stop whatever you’re doing, take a couple of deep breaths to control your tension, and then immediately (and quickly) think about exactly what you need to do and say next.

Acknowledge the conflict by saying something like: Michael, I’m sensing that there are some issues between the two of us that we need to talk through, or, Kim, I’m feeling that I might have done something to upset you. Can we talk about it?

Buy some time. Suggest that you meet at a later time that day (or the following day) so that you both have an opportunity to relax a little and gather your thoughts. If the other person agrees, use the time to prepare for the meeting. If the person doesn’t agree on a time delay …

Take it somewhere else (if other coworkers are present). That way, you’ll avoid disrupting the rest of the group – and you’ll eliminate any temptations you and the other person might have to “showboat” or maintain some bogus image in front of your teammates. Suggest a different venue with words such as: It’s best for everyone if we keep this just between us. Where else would you feel comfortable talking?

Keep it respectful. Do your absolute best to conduct yourself in a calm and respectful manner – regardless of how the other person responds. Will it be easy? Of course not! But that doesn’t change the fact that although you can’t control what others do, you certainly can (and do) control your own behavior.



"Daily Devotions" (KJV and/or NLT)

"Let the Holy Spirit fill and control you." (Ephesians 5:18).

A senior pastor from one of America's leading churches came to talk with me after hearing my message on "How to Be Filled With the Spirit." This Christian leader told me, "Dr. Bright, my life will never be the same after tonight, I have been a pastor for more than twenty years, but until now, I have never understood how to be empowered and controlled by the Holy Spirit as a way of life. I can hardly wait to share this with my church members."

I was telling him something every Christian should already know. What could be more basic to the believer than the filling of the Holy Spirit? Yet I find that most Christians live in the darkness of their own human efforts to live up to God's standards. This is a struggle that will always end in defeat and frustration.

Our gracious and awesome Savior and Lord never meant for us to attempt in our feeble abilities what He can do through us with His unlimited supernatural power.



"The Patriot Post"

"The foundation of national morality must be laid in private families. ... How is it possible that Children can have any just Sense of the sacred Obligations of Morality or Religion if, from their earliest Infancy, they learn their Mothers live in habitual Infidelity to their fathers, and their fathers in as constant Infidelity to their Mothers?" -- John Adams, Diary, June 2, 1778

"The first and governing maxim in the interpretation of a statute is to discover the meaning of those who made it." -- James Wilson, Of the Study of Law in the United States, Circa, 1790

"[T]he Constitution ought to be the standard of construction for the laws, and that wherever there is an evident opposition, the laws ought to give place to the Constitution. But this doctrine is not deducible from any circumstance peculiar to the plan of convention, but from the general theory of a limited Constitution." -- Alexander Hamilton, Federalist No. 81, 1788

"Where liberty dwells, there is my country." -- Benjamin Franklin (attributed), letter to Benjamin Vaughn, March 14, 1783



"Find Law"

GM Asset Sale Approved By Bankruptcy Court

IN RE: GENERAL MOTORS
(U.S. Bankr. Ct., S.D. N.Y., Jul. 5, 2009) - U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Robert Gerber has ordered that General Motors is free to sell its assets. He noted that a liquidation sale would "leave nothing for the stockholders," and affect plaintiffs in pending personal injury lawsuits. Read more...

http://news.lp.findlaw.com/hdocs/docs/gm/gm-asset-sale-order70509.html

Related Resources
• Bankruptcy judge OKs GM sale plan

http://news.lp.findlaw.com/ap/f/1310/07-06-2009/20090706010504_20.html



"The Web"

RNLA (Republican National Lawyers Association)

http://www.rnla.org/Speakers.asp



Boehner Republican Energy Solutions on Fox

Boehner Endorses Mandatory Review Period for Major Spending Bills



Prayer American Soldier

http://www.hagmayer.com/PrayerAmericanSoldier.html




Roger Stone: No Plus In Palin Staying As Alaska Governor

http://video.newsmax.com/?bcpid=20972460001&bclid=22770166001&bctid=28652082001



Welcome to Obamacare Theater

By Michelle Malkin

http://www.cnsnews.com/public/content/article.aspx?RsrcID=50553

The White House sure likes to put on a show. Fresh off its joint stage production with ABC News, the Obama administration broadcast another health-care propaganda play under the guise of a citizen “town hall.”

Chicago consigliere and senior adviser Valerie Jarrett managed the floor and human props for Obama. In a telling moment as the event kicked off, she protested a wee bit much: “I want to emphasize that the president has not seen the questions ahead of time.” The audience responded with polite laughter.

But the denials of pre-planning and stacked decks deserve nothing but derisive mockery. Obama’s town hall was filled with backroom players and a supporting cast of socialized medicine activists and ideologues.

One of the three lucky audience members whom Obama chose for questioning was Jason Rosenbaum. Rosenbaum works for the Washington, D.C.-based Health Care for America Now (HCAN). That’s the same K Street Astroturf outfit I reported on last week—the one with a $40 million budget to lobby for government-run health care. The one inextricably linked to left-wing billionaire George Soros.

Let’s look at who else miraculously drew a golden ticket. Another one of the three softball-tossing citizen questioners at the White House forum identified herself as a member of the Service Employees International Union. That’s the same SEIU whose president, Andy Stern, boasted of spending nearly $61 million in members’ dues to elect Barack Obama. It’s the same union that produced Patrick Gaspard, former SEIU health-care lobbyist and now White House director of the Office of Political Affairs.

But the Obama health-care town hall’s climactic moment came when the consoler in chief plucked Debby Smith from the crowd to tell her personal health-care horror story. She choked back tears as she talked of her battle with kidney cancer, her joblessness and her lack of insurance. Obama hugged the trembling woman and dubbed her “Exhibit A” for his massive entitlement program.

Debby Smith, however, is no ordinary patient. While she may be “unemployed,” she has been rather busy working for the Obama campaign—as a volunteer for Organizing for America. It’s the old Obama for Change political machine now housed under the Democratic National Committee. Smith has also identified herself as a worker for the Virginia Organizing Project, which has been coordinating lobbying trips and health-care forums with HCAN. Yes, that same HCAN.

In December, Smith moderated “a community discussion on health care issues” in Appalachia, Va., and told her local paper that the meeting “would be reported back to former Sen. Tom Daschle, who has been directed by President-elect Barack Obama to form a committee to report on health-care issues.”

Daschle may be out of the spotlight since his Health and Human Services Cabinet-nomination fiasco. But he is in constant contact with Team Obama. As he told The Associated Press earlier this week in a media meeting on health-care reform, “We interact with them daily.” No doubt.

Veteran liberal journalist Helen Thomas earned some accolades for challenging the tightly controlled White House events. But where was she back in March, when Team Obama pulled the same stunt? At a health-care event in the East Room, the questioners included an Obama donor, a Democratic National Committee member, a former Democratic candidate for the Virginia statehouse who had publicly endorsed Obama and a member of the SEIU. Yes, that SEIU.

The growing irritation of the once-smitten Beltway media is better late than never, I suppose. But one wonders what took so long for the sedatives to wear off the watchdogs. Team Obama has screamed “kabuki” from day one.



Please Pray for our country

I remember reading about the children of Israel who turned from God time and time again, only to realize their mistake and pray for forgiveness. Each time, God would forgive them and they would walk with him for a time. So, I am going to ask you to join me in praying for our nation every day. Please read the email below. God is in control.

May God Have Mercy On America ; Protect Our Troops

When we were in Texarkana last week, there were signs in people's yards that said, " America , prayer is our only hope" - with 2 Chron. 7:14 underneath. We certainly need God's help!

I have no idea who started this, but I certainly agree with this e-mail. I heard a preacher on TV tonight who said if we pray for our nation that things will turn around.

After a day of contemplation and soul searching, I have decided to reach out to my friends and relatives and ask you to do something that has been troubling me for a long time.

Our nation is/has been on the slippery slope for a long time. If you look around you will find corruption, greed, moral decay, and a steady move away from the things that made us great. The principles upon which this nation was founded are no longer our backbone.

However, we can reverse this trend.

2 Chron. 7:14 in God's Word, He states, "If my people who are called by my Name will humble themselves and pray And seek my face and turn from their Wicked ways, then I will hear from Heaven and will forgive their sin and Heal their land."

I am convinced that we must pray for our nation and its leaders and ask for forgiveness. So I ask you to join me in this plea to our Lord.

Would you please send this to people in your address book? Ask them to pray EVERY DAY. (25 to the 5th power is 9,765,625 people.) IMAGINE if each person reaches TEN others... Or all TWENTY FIVE!

If you do and they comply, we will lift up millions and millions of prayers a day to our Creator. He will hear us, and in faith will answer.

Here's a quote from Ronald Reagan: "If we ever forget that we are one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under."

I truly believe this is why the United States of America is in the shape it's in today.

Most people have forgotten that we are ONE NATION UNDER GOD! Let us as Christians stand up and remind people of this.



A Beautiful & Moving Touching Story

Author Unknown

The man slowly looked up. This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer things of life. Her coat was new. She looked like that she had never missed a meal in her life. His first thought was that she wanted to make fun of him, like so many others had done before.

"Leave me alone," he growled.

To his amazement, the woman continued standing. She was smiling -- her even white teeth displayed in dazzling rows.

"Are you hungry?" she asked.

"No," he answered sarcastically. "I've just come from dining with the president. Now go away". The woman's smile became even broader. Suddenly the man felt a gentle hand under his arm.

"What are you doing, lady?" the man asked angrily. "I said to leave me alone.

Just then a policeman came up. "Is there any problem, ma'am?" he asked.

"No problem here, officer," the woman answered. "I'm just trying to get this man to his feet. Will you help me?"

The officer scratched his head. "That's old Jack. He's been a fixture around here for a couple of years. What do you want with him?"

"See that cafeteria over there?" she asked. "I'm going to get him something to eat and get him out of the cold for awhile."

"Are you crazy, lady?" the homeless man resisted. "I don't want to go in there!" Then he felt strong hands grab his other arm and lift him up. "Let me go, officer. I didn't do anything."

"This is a good deal for you, Jack," the officer answered. "Don't blow it."

Finally, and with some difficulty, the woman and the police officer got Jack into the cafeteria and sat him at a table in a remote corner. It was the middle of the morning, so most of the breakfast crowd had already left and the lunch bunch had not yet arrived. The manager strode across the cafeteria and stood by his table.

"What's going on here, officer?" he asked. "What is all this. Is this man in trouble?"

"This lady brought this man in here to be fed," the policeman answered.

"Not in here!" the manager replied angrily. "Having a person like that here is bad for business."

Old Jack smiled a toothless grin. "See, lady. I told you so. Now if you'll let me go. I didn't want to come here in the first place."

The woman turned to the cafeteria manager and smiled. "Sir, are you familiar with Eddy and Associates, the banking firm down the street?"

"Of course I am," the manager answered impatiently. "They hold their weekly meetings in one of my banquet rooms."

"And do you make a goodly amount of money providing food at these weekly meetings?"

"What business is that of yours?"

"I, sir, am Penelope Eddy, president and CEO of the company."

"Oh."

The woman smiled again. "I thought that might make a difference." She glanced at the cop who was busy stifling a giggle. "Would you like to join us in a cup of coffee and a meal, officer?"

"No thanks, ma'am," the officer replied. "I'm on duty."

"Then, perhaps, a cup of coffee to go?"

"Yes, ma’am. That would be very nice."

The cafeteria manager turned on his heel "I'll get your coffee for you right away, officer."

The officer watched him walk away. "You certainly put him in his place," he said.

"That was not my intent. Believe it or not, I have a reason for all this."

She sat down at the table across from her amazed dinner guest she stared at him intently. "Jack, do you remember me?"

Old Jack searched her face with his old, rheumy eyes "I think so -- I mean you do look familiar."

"I'm a little older perhaps," she said. "Maybe I've even filled out more than in my younger days when you worked here, and I came through that very door, cold and hungry."

"Ma'am?" The officer said questioningly. He couldn't believe that such a magnificently dressed woman could ever have been hungry.

"I was just out of college," the woman began. "I had come to the city looking for a job, but I couldn't find anything. Finally I was down to my last few cents and had been kicked out of my apartment. I walked the streets for days. It was February and I was cold and nearly starving. I saw this place and walked in on the off chance that I could get something to eat."

Jack lit up with a smile. "Now I remember," he said. "I was behind the serving counter.

You came up and asked me if you could work for something to eat. I said that it was against company policy."

"I know," the woman continued. "Then you made me the biggest roast beef sandwich that I had ever seen, gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to go over to a corner table and enjoy it. I was afraid that you would get into trouble. Then, when I looked over, I saw you put the price of my food in the cash register. I knew then that everything would be all right."

"So you started your own business?" Old Jack said.

"I got a job that very afternoon. I worked my way up. Eventually I started my own business, that, with the help of God, prospered." She opened her purse and pulled out a business card. "When you are finished here, I want you to pay a visit to a Mr. Lyons. He's the personnel director of my company. I'll go talk to him now and I'm certain he'll find something for you to do around the office." She smiled. "I think he might even find the funds to give you a little advance so that you can buy some clothes and get a place to live until you get on your feet. If you ever need anything, my door is always opened to you."

There were tears in the old man's eyes. "How can I ever thank you?” he said.

"Don't thank me," the woman answered. "To God goes the glory. Thank Jesus. He led me to you."

Outside the cafeteria, the officer and the woman paused at the entrance before going their separate ways. "Thank you for all your help, officer," she said.

"On the contrary, Ms. Eddy," he answered. "Thank you. I saw a miracle today, something that I will never forget. And...And thank you for the coffee."

If you have missed knowing me, you have missed nothing.

If you have missed some of my emails, you might have missed a laugh.

But, if you have missed knowing my LORD and SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST, you have missed everything in the world

Have a Wonderful Day and May God Bless You Always

God is so big He can cover the whole world with his Love and so small He can curl up inside your heart.



A U.S./U.N. Plot Against Anti-Communist Honduras

President Obama is "wrong" in his effort to save former President Manuel Zealot, who was coddling up to Venezuela President Hugo Chavez, Cuban Prime Minister Fidel Castro, Iranian President Ahmadinejad, and others of the Socialist and/or Communist leaders. The Honduran coup was successful in preserving a free democracy. - oyh

AIM Column | By Cliff Kincaid

http://www.aim.org/aim-column/a-u.s.-u.n.-plot-against-anti-communist-honduras/

Complicating plans by the Obama White House and its U.N. allies for a forced return of the former president, Honduras Foreign Minister Enrique Ortez told CNN en Espanol that Zelaya was implicated in drug trafficking from Venezuela into the U.S.

The people of Honduras are pleading for media fairness and understanding of how they saved their democratic system of government from an international conspiracy based in Venezuela and Cuba. In desperate messages to the outside world, Hondurans want America to know they do not want former President Manuel "Mel" Zelaya returned to power through the intervention of the United States and the United Nations.

On Tuesday the leftist governments of Barack Obama and Hugo Chavez sponsored a United Nations resolution that condemned the people of Honduras for resisting the spread of communism by evicting a would-be dictator. Many people in Honduras view "Mel" as a puppet of Hugo Chavez of Venezuela, who is destroying the democratic system and the opposition in that country.

In Honduras, demonstrators have appealed to the media to tell the truth. One sign said in Spanish: "CNN: That the entire world opens its eyes...Honduras wants peace not a dictatorship."

Our media are content to report on the turnout of a couple hundred pro-Zelaya protesters in Honduras, ignoring the many thousands that have demonstrated in support of what their government has done. Some of the demonstrators carried signs saying, "Peace and democracy. Out with Mel and Chavez." Others said, "Democracy yes; communism no."

A "Tribute to the Heroes of Honduras" has been posted on the web and captures the true sentiments of the people of Honduras.

In the face of a media blackout, many Hondurans have contacted me through the new media. One said, "I want to warmly thank you for your article supporting the real issue of constitutional impeachment on Manuel Zelaya Rosales." Later, this person informed me that "There is a march supporting President Micheletti and you don't see that on the [U.S.] media, the manifestation of the people in favor of what our institutions did is by far bigger than the mobs protesting violently against Zelaya's ouster."

"Thanks for your support to the political situation in Honduras," another said. "Writers like yourself are what Hondurans needs to let the world know that what happened was an act to preserve the constitutional rights of the country."

Another wrote, "I read your article and it's exactly what happened. If you could read the blog http://hondurancoup.blogspot.com/ it contains details of what moved our military and the other two branches of our government to act as they did. I surely hope you could make this public and somehow justice will overcome procedure. What's important are the facts."

This blog, which tells "The true story behind the alleged coup," notes that "Former President Zelaya is sick for power, a true hypocrite, corrupt and the King of Misinformation. His plot to break the constitutional order and the rule of law in our country has led us into a profound social and political crisis, on which he has bet all of his success on the generation of hatred between classes. His actions have been marked by dividing and confusing Honduran people by adopting the style, advice and funding from left-wing leaders such as Hugo Chávez, Fidel Castro, Evo Morales, Rafael Correa and Daniel Ortega."

However, an anti-communist alliance called UnoAmerica, the Union of Democratic Organizations of America, has recognized the new government of Honduras and urges support for it, issuing a statement saying that "in Honduras there has not been a blow to the state, but rather a constitutional succession, perfectly legitimate, after the intent of ex-president Manuel Zelaya to violate the constitution and maintain power, following the mandate of Hugo Chavez."

Regarding Obama's ally, Venezuelan ruler Chavez, UnoAmerica said that "He is tied to Colombian narcotics terrorism (FARC) and to the government of [Iranian President] Ahmadinejad. He finances the Cuban dictatorship. He permanently tramples the Constitution and kidnaps the liberties of the people. He commits electoral fraud. He forcibly represses peaceful and disarmed Venezuelans. He closes means of communication. He hates the Catholic Church."

Rebutting charges of a "military coup," UnoAmerica noted that "the Armed Forces of Honduras have been limited to obey the judicial mandate, that which obligates a reestablishment of constitutional order, thus showing its subordination to the civil authority."

Complicating plans by the Obama White House and its U.N. allies for a forced return of the former president, Honduras Foreign Minister Enrique Ortez told CNN en Espanol that Zelaya was implicated in drug trafficking from Venezuela into the U.S.

"Every night, three or four Venezuelan-registered planes land without the permission of appropriate authorities and bring thousands of pounds...and packages of money that are the fruit of drug trafficking," he said. "We have proof of all of this. Neighboring governments have it. The DEA [U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration] has it," he added.

At a U.N. meeting on October 13, 2008, Zelaya had openly called for the legalization of drugs-supposedly to reduce violence-just weeks after the George Soros-funded Latin American Commission on Drugs and Democracy had met to discuss how to pursue such a course of action. The group subsequently released a report calling for a "paradigm shift" on how to handle the illegal drug problem. Billionaire Soros, a long-time funder of campaigns to legalize dangerous drugs, has purchased the services of several former Latin American government officials to push this cause.

Zelaya's comments were immediately denounced by U.N. Office of Drug Control regional representative José Manuel Martinez Morales, who said such an approach was to "stick our heads under the sand like ostriches and accept the drug trade which is annihilating our youth."

Last November Zelaya appeared with Soros at a U.N. Economic Commission for Latin America and the Caribbean conference in the Dominican Republic.

At the Tuesday news conference at the United Nations, where a resolution was adopted in favor of returning Zelaya to power, the ousted Marxist ruler was asked if the United States had been behind the "coup" that forced him out. No, Zelaya said. "The United States has changed a great deal," he explained. He went on to say, "I have listened to President Obama. It is not only that he condemns the events, but he has demanded the restoration of the President," referring to himself.

On this point, Zelaya was correct. The United States has certainly changed under Obama. When Ronald Reagan was president, the United States assisted pro-freedom forces and endeavored to keep the communists out of Central America. Now, the United States intervenes on behalf of the communists and their allies, using the U.N. as cover.

Zelaya held his press conference at the U.N. with the President of the United Nations General Assembly, Miguel D'Escoto, a communist priest who received the Lenin Peace Prize from the old Soviet Union.

D'Escoto is another one of Obama's allies, having worked with his Ambassador to the U.N., Susan Rice, to forge a new international socialist order at the recent United Nations Conference on the World Financial and Economic Crisis. The scheme involves world government financed by global taxes, another cause that is very popular with George Soros.



Pictured: Elephants march through hotel lobby after it was built on their migration trail

By Mail Foreign Service

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1065865/Pictured-Elephants-march-hotel-lobby-built-migration-trail.html

These amazing pictures show why you shouldn't get between an African elephant and its favourite food.

Mfuwe Lodge in Zambia happens to have been built next to a mango tree that one family of pachyderms have always visited when the fruit ripens.

When they returned one year and found the luxury accommodation in the way, they simply walked through reception.

Let the porter grab your trunk: An elephant wanders through Mfuwe Lodge, in the South Luangwa National Park, Zambia

The animals came in two-by-two: Hotel staff and visitors have got used to the elephants' impromptu strolls through reception

Now the family group, headed by matriarch Wonky Tusk, return every November to gorge on mangos - up to four times a day.

Andy Hogg, 44, director at the Bushcamp Company that runs the Lodge, has lived in South Luangwa National Park since 1982.

But in all his years of dealing with wild animals he has never seen such intimate interaction between man and beast.

'This is the only place in the world where elephants freely get so close to humans,' says the 44-year-old.

'The elephants start coming through base camp in late November of each year to eat the mangos from our trees.

'When they are ripe they come through and they stand about for four to six weeks coming back each day or second day to eat the mangos.'

Living in the 5,000 square mile national park, the ten-strong elephant herd are led to the lodge each day by Wonky Tusk.

Migration route: The hotel was built directly in the path of the elephants' route to one of their favourite foods - mangos

'The most interesting thing about this is that they are wild animals and are certainly not tame,' explains Andy.

'They come through the lodge to eat the fruit.

'There are ten in that herd and it is only that herd that comes through. It is a strange thing.

'The matriarchal in the herd is Wonky Tusk, and she brings the nine others through and they come and go as they please.'

Mfuwe Lodge consists of seven camps and the base camp where the elephants come through.

Employing 150 staff, the management of the lodge are happy to report that there have been no incidents involving the elephants to date.

'The elephants do get reasonably close to the staff as you can see with the pictures of the elephants near the reception,' he explains.

'But we do not allow the guests to get too close.'

Check-in: But it's unlikely the lodge has a room big enough for its elephant guests

'Guests can stand in the lounge are but as long as there is a barrier between the elephants and the guests that is okay,' he added.

'The elephants are not aggressive but you don't want to tempt anything as they are wild animals.

'It is the elephants choice to come into base camp and they have been doing it for the last ten years.

'There are other wild mango trees around and they seem to prefer this one.'

And even thought the lodge was unwittingly built upon the path, Andy says they had no idea the elephants would insist on returning.

'It wasn't a design mistake - no-one really knew they were going to come through,' he says.

'The lodge was built and then the elephants started coming through afterwards.

Gentle giants: The leader of the ten-strong herd is matriarch Wonky Tusk

'We keep people at a safe distance. They are obviously close enough to see what is going on from pretty close quarters but we also make sure we have staff around to make sure the elephants don't get too close.

'But as I said they are still wild and still dangerous. They are huge beasts and untamed.

'We have bricks and walls between the elephants and the guests such as the counter and other barriers to stop them getting to people and if they try to there is enough time for people to get away.'

Naturally, the lodge becomes a busier attraction for both elephants and guests during November time.

'We find that we get more people visiting us during the elephant migration because of the unique experience of being so close to wild animals in an unusual environment,' says Andy.

'But as I said this is a totally natural phenomenon, the elephants come here of their own accord and it is certainly a rare but magnificent sight.'

Mfuwe Lodge: The hotel is set in an idyllic national parkland



"The e-mail Bag"

KIDS IN CHURCH

http://www.all-creatures.org/humor/kidsinchurch.html

3-year-old, Reese: "Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen."

A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."

A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife." (SO TRUE!!!)

After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."

I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer for several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail. Amen."

And one particular four-year-old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets." (HEY: Trespassing is trash!;-)

A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to church service, And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping." (Another truism;-)

Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'" Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"

A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"

A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"



River Walk

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."