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Daily Devotions


If you support our national security issues, you may love and appreciate the United States of America, our Constitution with its’ freedoms, and our American flag.

If you support and practice our fiscal issues, you may value worldly possessions.

If you support and value our social issues, you may love Judeo-Christian values.

If you support and practice all these values, that is all good; an insignia of “Wisdom” . - Oscar Y. Harward

Thursday, March 25, 2010

ConservativeChristianRepublican-Report - 20100325


Promoting "God's Holy Values and American Freedoms"!

"Daily Motivations"

"Determine never to be idle... It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing." -- Thomas Jefferson

"If I had my life to live over... I'd dare to make more mistakes next time." -- Nadine Stair

On every journey you take, you are met with options. At every fork in the road, you make a choice. These are the decisions that shape your life. -- Mike DeWine

"Daily Devotions" (KJV and/or NLT)

He will judge the world with justice and rule the nations with fairness. (Psalm 9:8)

The Supreme Court is the highest court in the United States. If we could expect justice anywhere, it should be before these esteemed justices. Yet they are just human. Their caseload is overwhelming.

Most cases the Court hears are selected by the solicitor general of the Justice Department, who chooses from thousands of potential cases. The staff of the solicitor general has mushroomed in recent years. They file briefs and make appearances in about 150 to 175 cases a year.

But think of how many petitions are denied! There is so much paperwork in the Supreme Court system that detailed rules are applied to the way documents are filed, from the precise wording that must appear on the cover to the length of the brief.

With all these constraints, most cases do not make it to the bench. Perfect justice is therefore not being rendered. It is humanly impossible.

But God does not need a brief to examine a case. He does not run out of time to consider the evidence. No research or investigation is needed in His court---He already knows it all. He knows the motives, thoughts, actions, and purpose for everything done. Our only option is to confess before a holy, omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent, just God.

Justice is not an external system to which God tries to adhere. He did not have to go to law school to learn how to apply the law. His justice comes out of His inner being and is based on His holiness, truthfulness, and righteousness.

Your View of God Really Matters …

Thank God that Jesus, our Advocate, has already taken our punishment. Therefore, the Father declares us "not guilty." Worship Him today with a grateful heart.

"The Patriot Post"

"The right of the citizens to keep and bear arms has justly been considered as the palladium of the liberties of a republic." --Justice Joseph Story

Editorial Exegesis

Try putting this on your front door"The year after the Supreme Court struck down the District of Columbia's handgun ban and gun-lock requirements, the capital city's murder rate plummeted 25 percent. The high court should keep that in mind .... as it hears oral arguments about a Chicago handgun ban. Gun controllers screamed to high heaven that impending disaster would follow the court's decision to junk some of the district's gun controls. One of those screaming the loudest was Chicago Mayor Richard M. Daley, who incorrectly predicted more gun freedom would lead to more death and Wild West shootouts. Instead, in Washington, murder rates rose when the handgun ban was in effect and fell once the regulations were removed. Chicago's 1982 ban faired no better. The forthcoming third edition of 'More Guns, Less Crime' shows that in the 17 years after a ban on new handguns went into effect, there were only two years when Chicago's murder rate was as low as it was in 1982. The Windy City's murder rate fell relative to America's other 50 largest cities before the ban and rose relative to them afterward. ... That increase in murder rates isn't surprising. Every time gun bans have been tried anywhere, murder rates have risen. Whether one looks at Ireland, Jamaica or England and Wales, the experience has been the same. Not only did murder rates fail to decline as promised, but the rates actually increased following gun bans. In general, gun-control laws disarm law-abiding citizens -- not criminals who don't care about the law. The lesson is that freedom and safety go hand in hand." --The Washington Times


"[Those] who run Washington, and their intellectual supporters, believe they have superior wisdom and greater intelligence than the masses. They believe they have been ordained to forcibly impose that wisdom on the rest of us. Like any other tyrant, they have what they consider good reasons for restricting the freedom of others." --economist Walter E. Williams

"In the Democrat leadership, we are not dealing with conventional politicians for whom the goal of being reelected is paramount and will rein in their radicalism. They want socialized medicine and all it entails about government control even more than they want to win elections. After all, if the party of government transforms the relationship between the citizen and the state, its power over our lives will be vast even in those cycles when it is not in the majority. This is about power, and there is more to power than winning elections, especially if you've calculated that your opposition does not have the gumption to dismantle your ballooning welfare state." --columnist Andy McCarthy

"One of the biggest reasons for higher medical costs is that somebody else is paying those costs, whether an insurance company or the government. What is the politicians' answer? To have more costs paid by insurance companies and the government. ... [H]aving someone else pay for medical care virtually guarantees that a lot more of it will be used. Nothing would lower costs more than having each patient pay those costs. And nothing is less likely to happen." --economist Thomas Sowell

"While Barack Obama was making his latest pitch for a brand new, even more unsustainable entitlement at the health care 'summit,' thousands of Greeks took to the streets to riot. An enterprising cable network might have shown the two scenes on a continuous split-screen - because they're part of the same story. It's just that Greece is a little further along in the plot: They're at the point where the canoe is about to plunge over the falls. America is further upstream and can still pull for shore, but has decided, instead, that what it needs to do is catch up with the Greek canoe." --columnist Mark Steyn

"Too many Americans now believe that the checks they receive every month from the unemployment office -- like the checks they get from the welfare office, from Medicare, from Social Security -- are inalienable rights. They are not." --columnist Ben Shapiro


"Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing." --American essayist, philosopher and poet Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

"The freedom now desired by many is not freedom to do and dare but freedom from care and worry." --American writer and historian James Truslow Adams (1878-1949)

The Demo-gogues

The meaning of bipartisan: "Bipartisanship is a two-way street. A bill can be bipartisan without bipartisan votes. Republicans have left their imprint." --House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA)

Oh please: "We share some of the views of the Tea Partiers in terms of the role of special interest in Washington, DC, as -- it just has to stop. And that's why I've fought the special interest, whether it's on energy, whether it's on health insurance, whether it's on pharmaceuticals and the rest." --Nancy Pelosi, leader of the Demo Culture of Corruption

More arrogance: "When the public sees what is in this bill ... when we show them what the priorities are and what it's been boiled down to, what it means to them sitting around their kitchen table rather than us sitting around a table at Blair House, the response will be positive.." --Nancy Pelosi on the dumb rubes that don't want ObamaCare

Hardly working: "It's easy being vice president -- you don't have to do anything." --Vice President Joe Biden (Considering the man holding the post, that's a good thing.)

Tell that to your boss: "I served on the budget committee in the Senate, and I remember as vividly as if it were yesterday when we had a hearing in which Alan Greenspan came and justified increasing spending and cutting taxes, saying that we didn't really need to pay down the debt -- outrageous in my view." --Secretary of State Hillary Clinton

Keen Sense of the Obvious: "We can't control nature." --Barack Obama on climate change -- just kidding -- on the earthquake in Chile

Village Idiots

Look in the mirror: "[The Republican Party holds] untenable positions based on emotion and anger." --former DNC Chief Howard "The Scream" Dean ("What can one say but YAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" --Wall Street Journal columnist James Taranto)

More hot air: "[T]he scientific enterprise will never be completely free of mistakes. What is important is that the overwhelming consensus on global warming remains unchanged." --Al Gore in a New York Times op-ed

"From the standpoint of governance, what is at stake is our ability to use the rule of law as an instrument of human redemption. After all has been said and so little done, the truth about the climate crisis -- inconvenient as ever -- must still be faced." --Gore, the populist potentate of eco-theology (The "rule of law" is certainly not an "instrument of human redemption," nor is it what Gore is advocating.)

Doom, he says: "I'm willing to engage or indulge real ideas, but if we don't do something [about global warming], we're all going to die! What's it going to take, a big f---ing disaster with all kinds of people dying? We need to change our priorities fast." --"Avatar" director James Cameron

That's racist! "The white right is trying to set Barack up to be assassinated... There are Christians praying for God to kill Obama." --Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan

"Liberty Counsel"

Online version easier to read? Go to www.LC.org

March 24, 2010

Liberty University Files Lawsuit Against the Government Takeover of Healthcare

Prior to midnight yesterday, Liberty Counsel filed a federal lawsuit against the newly signed healthcare law on behalf of Liberty University. The suit names as defendants the U.S. Secretary of the Treasury, Timothy Geithner, the Secretary of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Kathleen Sebelius, the Secretary of Labor, Hilda Solis, and the U.S. Attorney General, Eric Holder, in their official capacities overseeing the enormous government expansion in health care regulations.

Forcing health insurance on every person and employer is a stunning example of arbitrary power the Constitution does not give to federal bureaucrats.

Jerry Falwell Jr. is Chancellor and CEO of Liberty University (LU), the largest Christian university in the world, with more than 58,000 students in its residence and online programs. LU employs over 5,100 people and is self-insured, offering quality health insurance and health savings accounts to its employees. Since it is self-insured, LU will be forced to pay a fee for each covered "life" (employees, spouses and dependents), and face many other burdensome, costly, and unnecessary regulations. LU is also concerned that the government takeover of the student loan industry, included in the reconciliation bill, will negatively impact its students.

Also joining as a plaintiff is Kathy Byron, Delegate for the Commonwealth of Virginia, who voted in favor of a Virginia law that opposes the federal government takeover, and Lynchburg City Council Member Jeff Helgeson. The lawsuit also includes a physician, and individuals who manage their own healthcare privately and do not want forced health insurance coverage.

In passing this law, President Obama and Congress ignored the Constitution. The Supreme Court will have the final say, and we believe that this brazen illegal power grab will be overturned. Please pray that this lawsuit is successful!

Read our News Release for more details.

Read our Complaint.

Sign a Statement of Support for our lawsuit.

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Liberty Counsel does not charge clients for representation, so we depend on individuals, groups and churches that care about advancing religious freedom, the sanctity of human life and the family. Liberty Counsel is recognized by the IRS as a 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organization that accepts tax-deductible donations. Donate or order resources from the Liberty Counsel online store.

Mathew D. Staver - Founder and Chairman
Anita L. Staver - President
Liberty Counsel - 1-800-671-1776
PO Box 540774 - Orlando, FL 32854

"The Web"

Mother furious after in-school clinic sets up teen's abortion


The mother of a Ballard High School student is fuming after the health center on campus helped facilitate her daughter's abortion during school hours.

SEATTLE -- The mother of a Ballard High School student is fuming after the health center on campus helped facilitate her daughter's abortion during school hours.

The mother, whom KOMO News has chosen to identify only as "Jill," says the clinic kept the information "confidential."

When she signed a consent form, Jill figured it meant her 15 year old could go to the Ballard Teen Health Center located inside the high school for an earache, a sports physical, even birth control, but not for help terminating a pregnancy.

"She took a pregnancy test at school at the teen health center," she said. "Nowhere in this paperwork does it mention abortion or facilitating abortion."

Jill says her daughter, a pro-life advocate, was given a pass, put in a taxi and sent off to have an abortion during school hours all without her family knowing.

"We had no idea this was being facilitated on campus," said Jill. "They just told her that if she concealed it from her family, that it would be free of charge and no financial responsibility."

The Seattle School District says it doesn't run the health clinics at high schools. Swedish Medical Center runs the clinic at Ballard High and protects the students' privacy.

T.J. Cosgrove of the King County Health Department, which administers the school-based programs for the health department, says it's always best if parents are involved in their children's health care, but don't always have a say.

"At any age in the state of Washington, an individual can consent to a termination of pregnancy," he said.

But Jill says she not only didn't have a say in her daughter's abortion, but also didn't know about it.

"Makes me feel like my rights were completely stripped away."

Healthcare repeals filed in Congress

Chad Groening - OneNewsNow


One of the most conservative members of the United States Congress has filed a bill to revoke what he is calling "Obamacare."

Congressman Steve King (R-Iowa) knows it will be a long and hard fight to repeal the newly enacted $938-billion healthcare overhaul pushed through Sunday by Democrats without a single Republican vote. The battle on the judicial front has already begun, with several lawsuits challenging the constitutionality of the far-reaching measure. Meanwhile, King has launched another front.

"I have introduced the request for the repeal," he explains. "It's not much time to lick our wounds, in fact no time to do that, [but] come right back up and go to work and keep taking it to them."

The Iowa congressman adds that some Democrats may see the political writing on the wall and support the repeal effort. "I don't want to predict that it's likely, but we have a chance," he comments. "I have to believe that there are a bunch of them who are going to hear from their constituents and continue to hear, and when that happens, they do have a change of heart."

As for the presidential veto, King notes that "getting the votes to override a presidential veto looks to me to be about as impossible as electing Scott Brown to become United States Senator out of Massachusetts."

Brown, of course, won that election., and King is pleased that Senator Jim DeMint (R-South Carolina) has introduced a similar repeal bill in the Senate.

Republican Lawmaker Expects Supreme Court to Decide Constitutionality of Health Care Law’s Individual Mandate

By Nicholas Ballasy, Video Reporter


Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) spoke at the House Call rally she organized to protest the Democrats’ health care bill. Thousands of conservatives joined her on Thursday, Nov. 5, 2009, on Capitol Hill. (CNSNews.com/Penny Starr)
(CNSNews.com) - Reps. Jack Kingston (R-Ga.) and Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) told CNSNews.com that the Constitution does not give Congress the authority to require individuals to buy health insurance, as mandated by the new health care bill that was signed into law on Tuesday.

Both representatives appeared with Actor Jon Voight at a Capitol Hill Tea Party rally over the March 20 weekend.

CNSNews.com asked Reps. Kingston and Bachmann what part of the Constitution gives Congress the authority to mandate that individuals purchase health insurance.

Rep. Jack Kingston (R-Ga.)

“It is not present in the Constitution,” said Rep. Bachmann. “In fact, there’s tremendous Constitutional problems with the bill. There is no precedent for requiring an American citizen, as a condition of citizenship, to purchase a product or service against their will because government mandates they must buy it.”

Rep. Kingston agreed with Bachmann and predicted that the constitutionality of the individual mandate will be decided by the Supreme Court.

“I don’t think that it’s in the Constitution, and I think there are going to be a lot of lawsuits to contest that point,” he told CNSNews.com. “It still will end up in the hands of the Supreme Court, though.” Kingston said the best way to deal with the constitutional problem is “just not to pass the bill."

Jon Voight, the father of actress Angelina Jolie, said the health care bill should not become law because it will lead to more “bureaucracy” and “debt.”

“We are going over the falls,” he told CNSNews.com. “We’re starting to leave America behind and we’ve got to stop it now. You want your kids, your grandkids to have this huge bureaucratic burden and debt? Is that what is meant to be? No. Madison and Jefferson talked about this. We must not pass a debt on to the next generation. So, stop this now.”

The 2,400-page health care bill, the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, was passed by the Senate on Dec. 24, 2009, and by the House of Representatives on March 21, 2010 by a 219-212 vote. President Barack Obama signed the legislation into law on Tuesday.

The law requires every individual and most businesses to carry health insurance or pay penalties that will be monitored and collected by the Internal Revenue Service.

According to the Congressional Budget Office (CBO), the federal government has never before mandated that Americans buy any good or service. In 1994, when Congress was considering a universal health care plan formulated by then-First Lady Hillary Clinton, the CBO studied the plan’s provision that would have forced individuals to buy health insurance and determined it was an unprecedented act.

The CBO stated: “A mandate requiring all individuals to purchase health insurance would be an unprecedented form of federal action. The government has never required people to buy any good or service as a condition of lawful residence in the United States. An individual mandate would have two features that, in combination, would make it unique. First, it would impose a duty on individuals as members of society. Second, it would require people to purchase a specific service that would be heavily regulated by the federal government.”

Entitlement Rip-Off

by John Stossel

Bernie Madoff took money from people who thought he'd invested it, gave some to others who thought it was a partial return on their earlier investments and kept much for himself. That's called a Ponzi scheme, and his $50 billion fraud was called the biggest ever. But it wasn't the biggest. Social Security and Medicare are much bigger ones.

These are trillion-dollar scams. Medicare has a $36 trillion unfunded liability. Social Security's is $8 trillion. There's no money to keep those promises.

But Congress isn't investigating this scam. Congress runs it. That FICA money you thought government had saved for your retirement is gone. There's nothing left but IOUs backed by nothing. Your money was spent not only on current retirees but on wars, welfare, corporate bailouts, earmarks and all the other stuff Congress wants. For years, this was possible because the FICA tax brought in surpluses that allowed government to pay retirees more than they contributed and still help buy those other things.

Those days are gone. The huge group of baby boomers has started to retire, and that means trouble. In 2008, for the first time, Medicare paid out more than it took in.

So instead of filling the government's coffers and hiding the real size of the budget deficit, the entitlement programs have now begun to drain the treasury. Part of the "problem" is that we live longer. When Social Security started, most people didn't live to 65. Now we average 78.

This means that baby boomers like me who expect to collect Social Security and Medicare are basically stealing from children.

Think of the burden: When I was a kid, there were five workers for every retired person. Now, there are only three. And soon there will only be two young workers to fund each baby boomer's Social Security and Medicare checks.

When I explore this alarming matter on my Fox Business New show tomorrow night, Veronique de Rugy, an economist at the Mercatus Center, will point out that Social and Medicare right now consume almost half the federal budget. In coming years, if nothing changes, they will swallow nearly the whole thing. But since Congress will want to spend money on all the other things it now buys -- not to mention a new medical entitlement -- the government will either have to raise taxes to stratospheric heights, borrow like crazy or inflate the dollar. Whichever it chooses, we'll have serious problems.

Higher taxes are not a good solution because taxation suppresses economic activity by transferring capital to politicians. Yet our only hope is a sustained economic boom.

As Rep. Paul Ryan, R-Wis., points out: "You literally cannot tax your way out of this problem. It's not mathematically possible. ... You wipe out the middle class."

Well, how about borrowing? That might mean raising interest rates, which, again, would depress economic activity. Even then, lenders such as China may soon be too nervous to lend Uncle Sam more money. Moody's recently announced it might downgrade America's credit rating.

The most likely outcome is that the Fed will print more money, inflating the currency, so that the creditors are paid with less-valuable dollars. Our purchasing power will disappear.

The architects of the welfare state sure have left us a big mess. Yet hardly anyone talks about entitlements, except to add new ones.

De Rugy asks: Why can't people take care of their own retirement by investing the money government now takes? Had we done this all along, the looming problem would have been averted. Instead, "We're about to witness the biggest, most massive transfer of wealth from the relatively young and poor people of society to the relatively old and wealthy people in society."

Our forefathers would be appalled. After the American Revolution, when the new government was debating how to pay its bills, George Washington said this about a national debt: "We should avoid ungenerously throwing upon posterity ... the burden we ourselves ought to bear." Well, we sure are dumping my generation's debt onto posterity. I wish we had more politicians like George Washington.

Obama Administration Awarded Hundreds of Thousands in Airport Grants to Stupak’s District Two Days Before Vote


Was this Yet Another Backroom Deal to Force Obama’s Bill Down the American People’s Throats?

Three airports in the district of infamous fence-sitting and ultimately kowtowing Democrat Bart Stupak were awarded $726,409 in grants by the Obama Administration just two days before a vote on Obama and Pelosi’s government takeover of healthcare.

Did Stupak compromise his supposed principled stand against taxpayer funding of abortion in exchange for taxpayer dollars for pet projects?

Alpena County Regional Airport received a $85,500 grant, but had only 7,519 passenger boardings in 2008 (the most recent year for which there is information) according to Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) data. Alpena County Regional Airport serves fewer passengers than even the late Rep. John Murtha’s famous “Airport for Nobody.”

Delta County Airport has even less customers than that, but still received a $179,209 grant.

Chippewa County International Airport received a $461,700 grant, but had only 13,733 passenger boardings in 2008.

Will Stupak come clean about this apparent backroom deal for his vote?

Call Stupak’s district office at (989) 356-0690 and ask.

How Obamacare hits industry and threatens jobs

By: Byron York

Chief Political Correspondent


President Barack Obama makes a statement to the nation Sunday night following the final vote in the House of Representatives for comprehensive health care legislation, in the East Room of the White House in Washington, March 21, 2010. Obama and Democratic House leaders resolved a dispute over abortion Sunday, securing crucial support from a handful of lawmakers. (Gerald Herbert/AP)

The people at Zoll Medical Corporation saw a ray of hope in January when Scott Brown was elected senator from Massachusetts. Located in Chelmsford, 30 miles outside Boston, Zoll is the nation's leading manufacturer of heart defibrillators, which save thousands of heart attack victims each year. Back in January, as the Senate race was raging, both House and Senate Democrats wanted to impose a crippling new tax on the makers of medical devices, Zoll included, to help pay for Obamacare.

The total tax on the industry would be about $2 billion a year, or $20 billion over the next decade. Companies watched nervously as lawmakers pushed ahead, first the House and then the Senate. But then Brown was elected on the promise to be the crucial Republican vote to stop health care reform. For Zoll, things were looking up.

Not anymore. The bill passed by the House Sunday night contains a particularly damaging version of the $20 billion hit for the medical device industry, meaning Zoll and other medical device makers could well be headed for hard times.

"We believe that the tax will cost us somewhere between $5 million and $10 million a year," says Richard Packer, Zoll's chairman and chief executive officer. "Our profit in 2009 was $9.5 million."

That would be a devastating blow. Zoll employs about 1,800 people. Roughly 1,600 of them are in the United States, and about 650 of those are in Massachusetts. Once the new tax kicks in, that could all change. "We can't run this company at a break-even or a negative rate," says Packer, "so we will be forced to look at alternatives."

The company's first option is to pass the increase on to customers like hospitals and ambulance companies. That might or might not work, given that they are coming under increasing pressure to cut their own costs.

The next option is to cut research and development -- a short-term, money-saving move that will surely cost Zoll down the road. And a third option, says Packer, is to "look at trying to shift jobs to lower-cost places around the world." That would be bad news for Massachusetts and the USA.

It's still not clear precisely how the new system will work. The Senate bill, which becomes law as soon the the president signs it, imposes the $2 billion annual tax on the industry starting almost immediately. The government would calculate the size of the entire medical device industry and charge each company a fee based on its share of the market. That's how Zoll estimates its part will be $5 million to $10 million.

For Zoll, that's the worst-case scenario. Things will be a bit better if the Senate approves the reconciliation bill passed on Sunday by the House. One of the "fixes" in the reconciliation bill would impose a 2.3 percent excise tax on medical devices, going into effect in 2013. Even though it would cost the company about the same amount of money, Zoll executives prefer that scenario, if only because the delayed onset would give them time to prepare.

No matter what happens, the makers of the devices that save our lives are going to take a major hit.

"It's a real concern for some of these companies, in that they probably are operating on pretty thin margins," says Brian Johnson, publisher of MassDevice, an independent business journal devoted to the medical device industry. Johnson adds that even those companies that can pay the tax face perhaps even more serious problems because of recent government actions, apart from health care reform, making it harder and more costly to win Food and Drug Administration approval for new products. "As a whole, in terms of stricter regulation and the added tax, that's a pretty big bag they're carrying right now," says Johnson.

And then, of course, there is the continuing economic downturn. All in all, it's not a good time to levy a new and burdensome tax on a highly innovative American industry. And yet that is exactly what Obamacare does.

When I called Richard Packer at Zoll on the morning after the House passed the bill, I asked how he was doing. "A total state of depression," he answered, with the kind of short, dry laugh that says it's not really funny. A lot of Americans are feeling that way now.

Byron York, The Examiner's chief political correspondent, can be contacted at byork@washingtonexaminer.com. His column appears on Tuesday and Friday, and his stories and blog posts appears on www.ExaminerPolitics.com ExaminerPolitics.com.

"The e-mail Bag"

Letterman 'Top 10' takes on Emanuel

White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel has been the subject of a dizzying array of stories in recent weeks, from lengthy profiles in the New York Times and the New Republic to articles and columns debating whether he is or isn't the source of all that ails the Obama administration.

Now Emanuel has broken through an important pop-culture barrier: He was the subject of David Letterman's Top 10 list Tuesday night, titled "Top Ten Signs Rahm Emanuel Is Nuts." The full list is below.

Top Ten Signs Rahm Emanuel Is Nuts

10. Every morning takes a leak off the Truman balcony

9. President Obama smokes cigarettes; Rahm eats them

8. Spotted today at Toyota dealership

7. He's leaving Obama to become a special adviser to Richard Nixon

6. In a fit of rage, he snapped Dennis Kucinich in half

5. Changing his name to Rahm Emanuel Lewis

4. Refers to every cabinet official as "Clarkie"

3. Recently got into heated policy debate with his stapler

2. You mean, besides walking around D.C. naked?

1. Even Andy Dick is telling him to chill.

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